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Having Problems In Your Marriage?

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<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman"><STRONG>WHAT TIME IS IT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Many people think the goal of life is to be happy. I don’t think so. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Have you ever been to a funeral? That’s not a time to be happy. It’s a time to be sad. Did you ever take the SAT’s, the MCAT’s, or any other important entrance test? That’s not a time to be happy. It’s a time for intensity. Have you ever waited for test results from a medical exam? That’s not a time to be happy. It’s a time to worry. Have you ever encountered a lot of turbulence on an airplane? That’s not a time to be happy. It’s a time to be scared.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">The goal of life is NOT to be happy. The goal of life is to know what time it is. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Hi. I’m Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">“Everything has its season. And there is a time for everything under the heaven.”<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">“A time to be born and a time to die.”<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">“A time to weep and time to laugh.”<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">“A time to wail and time to dance.”<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">“A time to rend and time to mend.”<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">“A time to be silent and a time to speak.”<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">“A time to love and a time to hate.”<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">“A time for war and a time for peace.”<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">What time is it for you?<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">If you’re reading this, then maybe it’s time to renew your marriage. Is so, then subscribe to my <STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">FREE report, “7 Secrets for a Stronger Marriage” and get my FREE marriage assessment.&nbsp;<A HREF="http://www.YourMarriageFitness.com/cmd.php?Clk=1343868">CLICK HERE to subscribe. </A>It’s FREE.</SPAN></STRONG><STRONG><SPAN style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=normal111 style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=normal111 style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">Warm regards, <o:p></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=normal111 style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">Mort Fertel<o:p></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=normal111 style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">Author of Marriage Fitness<o:p></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=normal111 style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">Marriage Coach</SPAN></STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma><STRONG>HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO HEAR YOU<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>Recently I had a series of private phone sessions with a person who was very frustrated. Listen to how this person described their situation. I bet you’ll be able to relate to it. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>This person said they felt trapped in their basement trying to communicate with their spouse via Morse Code. They said they were banging on the pipes trying desperately to be heard. They would bang on the pipes and wait for a response. Bang and wait…bang and wait…bang and wait. But each time they finished banging, there was silence. No matter how hard they banged and no matter how long they waited; their spouse never heard them.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>Hi. My name is Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>Are you trying to get heard? Do you feel ignored? Is your spouse not responding to your communication?<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>We live in an interesting time. With one click, you can communicate with anyone in the world. It’s easy, quick, and free. You even have options. If you don’t want to click, you could dial, beep, page, instant-message, or Fed Ex. It’s true. Your ability to communicate with the outside world has become increasingly easy. But my guess is that your ability to communicate with your spouse has become increasingly difficult. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>The reason for this is that most people confuse INFORMATION communication with PERSONAL communication. Technological advancements give us all sorts of options to communicate information. But how do you feel the pulse of someone’s soul? How do you communicate the subtleties in your heart? You can’t text message that. You can have the latest and greatest in communication gadgets, but it won’t matter. PERSONAL communication is a whole different ball game. And it’s PERSONAL communication that determines the success or failure of your marriage.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><FONT face=Tahoma><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">I’m reminded of a scene from a Broadway play. A man and woman happen to meet on a train and engage in polite conversation. They were both headed home to </SPAN><?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:State><st1:place><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">New York</SPAN></st1:place></st1:State><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"> after a day in </SPAN><st1:place><st1:City><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">New Haven</SPAN></st1:City><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">, </SPAN><st1:State><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">CT.</SPAN></st1:State></st1:place><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"> After further discussion, they learned that they were going to the same building on </SPAN><st1:Street><st1:address><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">Fifth Avenue</SPAN></st1:address></st1:Street><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">. Lo and behold they discovered that they had the same daughter and lived in the same apartment. They finally discovered that they were husband and wife.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>You know what’s killing marriages these days? EMAIL! More and more I’m seeing husbands and wives resort to email to communicate with each other. You want to do something tangible TODAY to improve your marriage? STOP EMAILING YOUR SPOUSE! Email is for INFORMATION. But in a marriage you’ve got to HEAR each other. And I don’t mean hear the sounds of each other’s words. You’ve got to be able to hear the silence between the sounds and interpret the unspoken meaning of a pressed lips or teary eyes. You’ve got to be able to hear the shapes and sounds in each other’s heart. You can NOT accomplish this via email.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>And let me be clear about something; you can’t do it with communication techniques either. There’s no clinical communication therapy that can help you and your spouse think each other’s thoughts, feel each other joy, and cringe from each other’s pain. My 1-on-1 phone session schedule and the Marriage Fitness Tele Boot Camp are filled with casualties from traditional communication strategies and the usual marriage counseling approach. If you’re like most people with marriage trouble, you’ve been down that path and you know that it does NOT work.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><FONT face=Tahoma><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">Today my 4-year-old son came to me with a bruise on his leg. He wa</SPAN><st1:PersonName><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">s c</SPAN></st1:PersonName><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">rying and I could see that it was black and blue. He said, “Daddy, I need a band-aide.” <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>I responded, “But it’s not bleeding.” <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>He said again, “Daddy, can you put a band-aide on it?” <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>I realized that my son’s perspective was that when something hurts a band-aide makes it better…even if it’s a bruise and not a cut. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>So what does this have to do with communication in a marriage? Because most people think that if spouses aren’t hearing each other that communication techniques will solve the problem. But that’s like putting a band-aide on a bruise. It’s the wrong solution. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><FONT face=Tahoma><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">Communication technique</SPAN><st1:PersonName><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">s c</SPAN></st1:PersonName><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">an help colleagues transmit INFORMATION clearly. Communication techniques belong in seminars that teach negotiation and sales. But you’re not trying to complete a transaction with your spouse; you’re trying to renew a relationship. I can almost guarantee you that your problem is not clarity; it’</SPAN><st1:PersonName><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">s c</SPAN></st1:PersonName><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">oncern. Ironically, communication techniques sometimes give people clarity that they don’t care what their spouse thinks or feels. They “got it,” but “it” doesn’t matter to them anymore. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>How do you get back to the place where you and your spouse care again?<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>This is one of the things that’s unique about the Marriage Fitness approach to repairing a relationship versus traditional counseling. Most approaches to marriage success preach communication skills. But communicating effectively will NOT create love in your marriage. In fact, the correlation is the opposite. Creating love in your marriage paves the way for effective communication. I’ll prove it to you.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>Think about when you fell in love. How was your communication? Good, right? In fact, when you’re in love, you communicate with the wink of an eye and you can finish each other’s sentences. And yet you haven’t known each other that long and you haven’t learned any communication techniques. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>Then, years later, after getting to know each other inside and out, employing psychologically tested and proven communication strategies, and taking into account all the differences between Mars and Venus, you can’t get through to each other.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>Listen carefully: Communication has very little to do with techniques or knowledge of each other. It has everything to do with the depth of connection between the communicators. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>The question you should be asking is NOT, “How do I communicate effectively with my spouse.” The question you should be asking is, “How do I connect with my spouse again?” Once you reconnect, you won’t be sitting in silence in the basement. You’ll hear the sound of the pipes from above. It’ll be your spouse. You were heard.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; </SPAN><o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=Normal1 style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'"><FONT face=Tahoma>If you want to learn how to connect with your spouse again, <STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">subscribe to my FREE report, “7 Secrets for a Stronger Marriage” and get my FREE marriage assessment. <A HREF="http://www.YourMarriageFitness.com/cmd.php?Clk=1343870">CLICK HERE to subscribe. </A>It’s FREE.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=Normal1 style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><o:p><FONT face=Tahoma>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=Normal1 style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT face=Tahoma>Warm regards, <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=Normal1 style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT face=Tahoma>Mort Fertel<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=Normal1 style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT face=Tahoma>Author of Marriage Fitness<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=Normal1 style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left" align=left><FONT face=Tahoma><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">Marriage Coach</SPAN></STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman"><STRONG>I LOVE YOU BUT I’M NOT “IN LOVE” WITH YOU<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Did your spouse tell you, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you?”<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">What does that statement mean?<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Hi. I’m Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">A person who says, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you,” is making a distinction between 2 different feelings. But NEITHER of those feelings are love!<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">When a person says, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you,” they’re saying that I CARE about you but I’m not EXCITED about you. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><FONT face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt">CARING about someone is a good thing. It’s reflective of CONCERN. But it’s different than love. I care about the starving children in </SPAN><?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:place><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt">Africa</SPAN></st1:place><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt">, but I don’t love them. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><FONT face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt">Being EXCITED about someone is also a good thing. But it’s different than love. I might be excited to have a relationship with the President of the </SPAN><st1:country-region><st1:place><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt">United States</SPAN></st1:place></st1:country-region><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"> or a </SPAN><st1:place><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt">Hollywood</SPAN></st1:place><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"> star, but that doesn’t mean I love them. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">While someone who says, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you” seems to be making a distinction between “different loves;” in fact, they are expressing their confusion about what love really is. And that’s why they’re having marital problems and maybe even an affair (because who are they IN LOVE with?). <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Love is something we articulate in the vocabulary of ACTION. Love is a verb. It’s not a feeling you get from another PERSON; it’s an experience you receive as a result of DEEDS YOU DO for another person. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="mso-line-height-alt: 10.65pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">And those deeds are not a secret. In other words, love is NOT a mystery! There are specific things you can do with your spouse to solve your problems and build love in your marriage. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="mso-line-height-alt: 10.65pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable—you can “make” love. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="mso-line-height-alt: 10.65pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">This is exactly why I created the Marriage Fitness program. I wanted to offer people a step-by-step system to make and maintain love in their marriage. And the program works for any marriage, even if only one spouse does it.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Very often in my private coaching sessions, someone will say to me, “I love my spouse, but I’m not IN LOVE with my spouse.” <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">My immediate response is to ask, “Can you list for me 5 ways in the last week that you’ve DEMONSTRATED your love for your spouse?”<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">I usually hear noise on the other end of the phone; grunts, partial statements, and gasps for breath, but none of what I hear ever passes for an answer to my question. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">“I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you” is a cop out. It basically means that I have no clue how to make a relationship last LONG-TERM so I’m exiting to get high from another short-term romance. But whoever they’re IN LOVE with now will also eventually hear, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you.”<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Of course, this is all fine and good, but it’s really your spouse who needs to hear this, right?<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Do NOT print this email out and give it to them. And do NOT tell them what I said.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><FONT face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt">Getting your spouse from “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you” to “Okay, let’s give this another chance” is a tricky task. If this is your situation, it’</SPAN><st1:PersonName><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt">s<B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"> </B><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">c</SPAN></STRONG></SPAN></st1:PersonName><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">rucial you handle it strategically. One false step and your marriage could be over. If you take the right steps, you can draw your spouse back in and begin to restore your marriage TOGETHER. How do you do that? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Learn more about the Marriage Fitness system of relationship renewal by subscribing to my FREE report, “7 Secrets for a Stronger Marriage” and getting a FREE marriage assessment. <A HREF="http://www.YourMarriageFitness.com/cmd.php?Clk=1343871">Click here to subscribe. </A>It’s FREE.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><o:p><FONT face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Warm regards, <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Mort Fertel<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT face="Times New Roman">Author of Marriage Fitness<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" align=left><FONT face="Times New Roman"><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">Marriage Coach</SPAN></STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
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This is one of my favorite images
This is my good friend Hal. I took this picture on his birthday. I think he likes to be in pictures.
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This is one of my favorite images
This is my good friend Hal. I took this picture on his birthday. I think he likes to be in pictures.


This is one of my favorite images
This is my good friend Hal. I took this picture on his birthday. I think he likes to be in pictures.